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The last few days, the weather has been cold, grey, rainy, with a fierce and unrelenting wind. From the window, the lawn seems mysterious and darkly romantic, much like a Daphne du Maurier novel.  I can squint a little and almost see myself wandering the foggy moors, lovelorn and pondering dark secrets.

Inside, it’s warm, dry, comforting. The kind of day where a steaming cup of tea is the perfect treat. I’m quite the opposite of lovelorn and I’m certainly not wandering the house in dark mystery.  However,  I have been looking at the gardens through the rain splattered glass and I’m impatient to start planting. Before the rains began, I was digging and clearing and waiting for the frost date to pass – here in northern Indiana, our last frost date is estimated between May 13 and May 24.

One year, the weather seemed warm enough and I planted my garden before the last frost date. The days and nights had been warm and pleasant and I was sure that my plants would be safe. You guessed it: all the plants got zapped with a frost. Every last one of them. When the frost warning came, I had even covered everything with newspapers, thinking that would be enough to protect them. It wasn’t. The next morning they were all just shriveled black sprigs. I learned patience from that experience and now I wait until after the last frost date, no matter how anxious I am to get the garden started.

I can see from the window that the lilacs are in full bloom. I may even go out in the rain and gather an armful; they will fill the house with such a lovely fragrance and the colors of lavender and purple.

The quiet peace of patience and the scent of fresh lilacs. Yes, there is a bright side even on cold, grey days.

Sometimes you see something that is so moving that you are mesmerized, motionless, almost forgetting to breathe.

One of my favorite blogs – The Simple Dollar – (thesimpledollar.com) – posted this video.

Why did it move me so deeply?  Perhaps because the girl is beautiful and graceful, her hair in cascades down her back and her dress a creation from a fairy tale.  Perhaps because the music is lovely and played with the kind of feeling that makes you close your eyes, smile, and simply listen, each note resonating somewhere deep inside.

I think, though, that I was especially moved because it felt like a personal message.  If this girl could create beautiful music with such a handicap (she has no fingers on one hand), then looking at my own life made me realize that there were parts of my life – challenges that I simply walked away from – because I assumed they were too hard, or assumed that I lacked something needed to accomplish it.  Maybe someone else with more advantages or more blessings could do it, but of course not me.  How many times had I lost an opportunity because I would not even start because I assumed I would fail?

Enjoy this little clip for the beauty, for the music, and for the reflective questions that begin to stir while you watch.

In peace,

Patti

When was the last time you experienced something and felt a flash or a wave of joy, happiness, or deep contentment?  It may have been just a moment of pleasure- such as glancing out of your car window to see a lovely garden of flowers.  It might have been something more substantial, such as your child looking at you with steady blue eyes and saying a heartfelt, “I love you, Mommy.”   Maybe it was your spouse getting a well deserved bonus, or maybe it was glancing at your spouse and noticing how sexy and handsome he looked.

These moments don’t have to be fleeting, accidental experiences.  Learning to recognize, allow, and even to seek out those things, people, or experiences that either bring happiness or allow for happiness is probably the single most effective thing that you can do to greatly enhance the quality of your life.   Realizing how blessed you really are – how much abundance is already in your life and how much beauty and love you have all around you every day – is rich and freeing.

Writing these things in a gratitude journal helps you to recognize, seek, and even create bursts of happiness.  A gratitude journal is an excellent way to begin to discover your authentic self.  Sometimes we’ve spent so much of our lives being indifferent, unobservant, and submissive to other’s choices, that we have lost track of what it is we really like, love, want, and need.  A gratitude journal will help you realign this.

Another benefit of a gratitude journal is how comforting and uplifting it can be when you are feeling a little depressed, deprived, or when you’ve had one of life’s inevitable not-s0-good experiences.  Leafing through your journal will help you dissipate and deal with those negative feelings as you begin to focus on how much beauty and happiness is already in your life.

I’ve posted an article on How to Start a Gratitude Journal on the Simple Life site.  The photo in the upper corner of this post is one of my own gratitude journals.  I can say emphatically that keeping a gratitude journal not only has made me realize how many things I have to be grateful for, but it also has had unexpected results.  There have been many times when I’ve reached for my gratitude journal and struggled with something new to write.  Those times have made me realize how I’ve let my life become stagnant and repetitive and that has guided me to take steps to make changes and create new experiences.

Being grateful and joyful has a powerful influence on your family and other people in your life.  When you are operating in an attitude of gratitude, as it is called, you appreciate other people much more deeply.  You find it natural and easier to be giving and loving to them.  You also influence them, as gratitude and happiness are rather contagious.

I hope you will try this – either keeping a gratitude journal in a note book or in a file on your computer.

With peace,

Patti

Article:  How to Start a Gratitude Journal – Simple Life Corp

Nature abhors a vacuum!

As I continue to clear clutter from my home, I try to be aware of tips and techniques that seem to work with extra power so that I can share them with you.

One very effective way that I use to keep clutter moving out of my house is to have a box that is permanently designated as the “Goodwill box.”  I use this box to toss things in immediately upon deciding to get rid of it.  Having this system means that as soon as I try something on that doesn’t fit, or realize that an item has been on the shelf gathering dust, then there is already a designated place to put it for giving away.  Doing this without delay means the reasons for getting rid of it are still clear and strong.  And besides, I’m just putting the item in the box and I still have the opportunity to change my mind.  In truth, though, I rarely take something back out of the box.

But that’s not the magic part.  Recently, I realized that whenever I write up the donation list and clear out the box, then the empty box seems to attract more clutter items like a magnet.  Whenever the box is empty, items just seem to appear out of nowhere for putting in the box.  Yet, once the box gets nearly full, it might sit for a week without any new items added.  Even once I noticed this, and tried to dispel it, the same pattern kept repeating.  I’ve learned to empty the box as soon as possible once it gets nearly full.  That empty box seems to have an attraction all its own.

The tip I’d like to share with you, then is this:  First, designate a box for accumulating items that will be given away.  Most important, though, empty the box as often as you can.  You may be amazed, too, at how that box will attract your useless clutter.

This clutter clearing tip works like magic for me.  I actually find it a little fascinating, although many will argue that it has perfectly logical explanations. Perhaps so, but it works and that’s what matters to me.  At the least, it makes a fun game and I’m really getting my home clean and clear.

With love and peace,

Patti

Visit our Simple Life Corp website for many other clutter control and decluttering ideas

Some women just seem to have an attractive presence about them. They have an inner beauty that radiates out and you can feel their loving nature just by being in the same room with them. They move with a quiet confidence and power that demands respect and attention, yet all the while stay with their lovely feminine nature.

We can learn to have this sense of feminine confidence, power,  and radiant beauty. I’ve just watched another of Rachael Jayne Groover’s videos. Rachael Jayne Groover is the founder of The Yin Project and is currently writing a book on just this subject.  She is 100% confident that she can teach any woman to have a radiant presence.

The video gives three tips that you can use immediately to increase your sense of attractive presence:

1) Staying “home”, or present, in your body by bringing your inner attention to your lower belly.

2) Switching on and increasing your radiance by imagining and feeling your energetic radiance as a light globe around you.

3) Enjoying the movement of your body and feeling your radiance.

The video is almost 19 minutes.  If you have only an few moments, start at about point 10:55 to get just the three tips, but it is an enlightening experience to listen all the way through.  It is simply excellent and informative. I am already feeling an very increased and enjoyable sense of feminine radiance from using the tips in the video. I hope you will too.

Here is the link to the video: http://femininespiritualityandleadership.com/FSL/Tr93hF17Vid2/

Patti

I’ve just finished an entertaining and informative  book by Shawn Achor: The Happiness Advantage.  One concept that he discusses in his book is the Zorro Circle.  As the story of Zorro tells, Zorro was trained to be the legendary swordsman and fighter that he was by first learning to fight only from a circle drawn in the sand by his master/teacher.  Once he had conquered the circle, he was a changed man and his ability to fight was greatly enhanced.

This concept works with many areas of life.  Selecting a small area and conquering it can help you quickly master much larger areas.  Clearing clutter is one good use of this concept.

To use it, simply select a small area that is typically cluttered.  It should be small and manageable, such as a small area of the kitchen counter near the sink, or perhaps a corner of a dresser, or a space on an end table.  Pick an area that bothers you and that you see often.  Now clear and clean this area.  Next, practice the concept of the Zorro circle by actively guarding the area (your Zorro circle) from any and all clutter.  Concentrate only on this area.  Check it before bedtime and during the day.  Allow no clutter in your designated area.

Do this for a week, or even two, until you have mastered the Zorro circle and it is now easy and habitual to keep it clutter free. During this time, you may have found that you began to clear other areas.  Or you may have brought less clutter into the house.  Whatever the other results, celebrate the clear Zorro circle.

Now expand by selecting another Zorro circle for keeping clear of clutter.  Clean and guard this area, too, until it is also a habit to keep that small area clean.

You may now find that you feel such a power over clutter that you spontaneously clear out entire rooms.  Or you may just  continue one Zorro circle at a time.  Either way, this is a very powerful way to train yourself to clear your clutter and keep it from returning.

Read related story on our site

 
Post by Patti Tokar Canton

When you are developing your goals for the coming year, one of the most important things is to be sure that you are pursuing what you really want. You may even find that what you really want is available to you right now.

To start, define your goal with as much focus as you can.  For example, say your initial goal is to have an ocean front bungalow.  Visualize this with as much detail as you can.  It is essential to place yourself in your mental picture.

What are you doing in the picture?  Are you sitting on the porch of the bungalow, watching the ocean?  Maybe you are waking up to the sound of ocean waves.  Or maybe you are gliding in a sailboat near the shore and admiring your new bungalow. Keep visualizing the picture until you feel the deep sense of happiness that defines your goal.

Now go deeper.  Why are you happy in your visualization?  Is it because you are watching the ocean?  Or because your family is all gathered and having a relaxed, enjoyable time together?  Or maybe you love the tranquility and lying in bed, sleeping well and waking up rested?

Keep asking yourself why with each answer.  Why does that make you happy?  Why do you like that?  Most likely you’ll find that what you really want is not a material object at all.  Most likely it’s a state of mind or a feeling.  Perhaps you want to feel peaceful and rested.  Perhaps you want to feel a little wild and free.  Perhaps you want to feel like lovers with your husband again.  Perhaps you want silence and natural beauty.

How can you have those feelings right now?  There are probably a dozen good ways that you can feel peaceful and rested or wild and free, or what ever it is that you long for every day.  Meditation, going to bed a little earlier, yoga, doing something to share happiness with someone else, taking a long walk … all right in front of you, right now.

Find out what you really, really want.  Just keep asking why until the answer is obvious.  It’s very likely that you can begin having it right now.

Finding just the right gift can be difficult. When your budget doesn’t allow for a lot of cash to spend, yet you want the gift to express your love or friendship, it can be even more difficult. Now that we’re down to the last few days before Christmas, having very little to spend for a special gift can be sheer agony.

I’ve compiled a list of gift ideas, links to instructions for homemade gifts, and links to other websites that have really unique or just plain good ideas for inexpensive yet meaningful gift ideas.

Some of the ideas are good for special gifts. Some are good for the last minute gifts that arise because you forgot someone or unexpectedly received a gift that you’d like to reciprocate.

While we’re on the thought of unexpected gifts, why not make this the year that you simply draw up your courage and stop mechanically giving gifts because you feel obligated. If you have been giving a gift simply because someone else gave you one, then say a simple, sincere thank you when you receive their gift. As awkward as it may feel, resist the urge to hastily find a gift to give in return. Learn to gracefully receive and you may find that the Universe is much more generous in giving to you.

If you do really enjoy exchanging gifts and receiving surprise gifts, then have a little stash of small, thoughtful, wrapped gifts that you can give whenever you want to give a last minute gift. Learn to give gracefully, with a joyful heart, and without apologies or excuses and you will find that your gifts are much more happily received.

What are some of the gift ideas in the gift ideas article? Two articles have hundreds of home-made gift ideas, such as gifts for Fido and Fluffy, candy kiss rosebuds, cigar box creations, and many more. There are links to instructions to making a reusable shopping bag, gifts-in-a-jar, beautiful hair accessories, gifts from the kitchen, mini-scrapbooks, and even one that has instructions for making book covers to hide the cover of a book that you’d rather not let the general public see – such as a steamy romance novel.

Take a look and I’m certain that you will get a good idea for the perfect gift.

Merry Christmas!

Read the Simple Life Corp article, with links and ideas:  Meaningful Inexpensive Gift Ideas

I’m still meditating on and following the path of forgiving –  forgiving both  others and myself for transgressions that are still causing pain, grief, anger, or denial.  Once begun, it is a long, steady, and sometimes stumbling journey.

Forgiving and releasing one incident often has the unexpected result of  uncovering a new insight or a new perspective and not all of them are pleasant or immediately healing.

It brings to mind the dialog on the movie,  Shrek, where Shrek and Donkey have the discussion of how ogres are like onions:   there are more to them (ogres and onions) than they seem on the surface and they both have many layers.

Forgiving is like an ogre, then:  It has many layers.  Peeling and releasing one layer may not fully solve the pain.  Peeling away a layer may even expose a deeper or broader issue that was hidden or distorted under a veil of anger or resentment.  Sometimes even seemingly unrelated issues will surface.

Forgiveness can bring peace and clarity on one issue while at the same time revealing new issues that must be acknowledged.  It is all part of the healing and releasing process.  It’s like pulling away the towel that seems to fill the basket that you are carrying only to discover that there are rocks and other debris on the bottom of the basket.

Here is a page of quotes on forgiving and forgiveness that I’ve just posted on the Simple Life site.  Inspiring Quotes – Forgiveness Quotes .  I’ll be adding to them as I find new ones that inspire me or teach me more about forgiving.

Meantime, here are some of my favorites:

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
– Josh Billings

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.
– Cherie Carter-Scott

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
– Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed realtionship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Wish them well, and let them go their way.
– Real Live Preacher (blog July 2003)

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.
–Nelson Mandela

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
–Robert Quillen

When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.
–Louis B. Smedes

‘Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive.
–John Sheffield

Peace,

Patti

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Learn to forgive

““When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Catherine Ponder

A few months ago, I began reading a book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol K Truman . I had recently finished the classic book, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and was fascinated by the thought that emotions can become so tightly trapped inside your body that they actually can manifest as physical ailments.  I hadn’t considered that emotions are a form of energy and that when we don’t allow that energy to be expressed and eventually let go, then we end up holding that emotional energy deep inside, sometimes to the point that we don’t even realize that the full emotion is still there.

Reading these books made me consider more on the issue of forgiving.  Holding a grudge, dreaming of revenge, feeling long-term anger … all these emotions can  poison your inner self and slowly deteriorate the quality of your life.  Constantly reviving the memory of a past wrong forces you to carry a heavy burden of negative emotions, whether you consciously realize it or not.

Forgiveness, then, can be a a selfish act.  Forgiving frees you from the burden of judgment, resentment, and anger. Forgiving allows you to accept the past without running a constant movie in your mind of how it should have been  different.  Your mind becomes clear and free and your focus turns to the present and to the future.   You are no longer tied to the past and no longer have to let your behavior be dictated by something that may have happened years ago.

If you struggle with the burden of your childhood memories, or have angry or bitter feelings about a certain person or an incident that happened, then the one most powerful actions you can take is to learn to forgive. Until you’ve really tried it, you cannot fathom the depth of release and freedom that you will feel when you can forgive another person and, even more importantly, forgive yourself.

Forgiving does not mean that you allow a wrong-doer to go without any sort of consequence for his deed.   Rather, forgiving is letting go of your own emotional turmoil.  Forgiveness replaces angst with peace.

Try forgiving just one thing, and it can be something quite small, and see how much lighter, clearer, and open to love that this one act will bring.

To read the full article, please visit Inner Peace and the Act of Forgiving on our site.

With peace and love,

Patti

Please note that the books links above are in accordance with our association with Amazon.com.