May 28th, 2011 The Worry Habit
Worry and anxiety are unpleasant. They make us uncertain, nervous, unable to relax, and often keep us from making needed progress. Worrying too much can keep us from enjoying our lives and can make it nearly impossible to make important decisions. At best, worrying can make us restless and unable to fully concentrate. At worst, it can cause insomnia, physical illness, rash behavior, embarrassment, and keep us trapped in mind movies that play out all sorts of tragic scenarios. We can worry so often that it becomes a habit – the worry habit.
I’ve had many times in my own life where I carried the heavy, haunting, turbulent bowl of worry. “What if…? What if …? ” The words and the possible answers would play in circles, keeping me the captive observer and participant.
In time I’ve learned to let go of worry. It still appears now and then, but I am better able to recognize it and dispel it before it can turn into something bigger and more energetic than me.
My first defense is meditation. By learning to meditate through yoga, dance, art, journaling, and of course, the classic meditative form of breathing and stillness, I have found that I can find a quiet, still center that is deep, endless and powerful.
After studying Eckhart Tolle and reading his profound work, “The Power of Now”, I also learned to let go of the future (and the past) and to live fully in the present moment. It’s hard to create worrisome future events in your mind when you are fully present and experiencing your current world.
Another tool that I use against worry is hard to define, but I’ll describe it as a feeling that I can face and get through anything. I certainly don’t imply that I feel that I’d necessarily be able to conquer anything or even to gracefully handle everything. Probably because of having begun to find my center of peace and also learning the ability to switch my focus back to the macro present, however difficult it may be, I have learned that moment by moment I can make it through just about anything. And if one moment does arrive that I simply am not strong enough to cope with, then I have confidence in God. I’ll just turn it over to God and I’ll follow along until I feel the protection, healing, and new perspective that He brings. So I’ve got it covered, one way or anther, I guess.
I’d like to say that I’ve mastered these methods and know them so well that I carry a center of peace with me always. I don’t. I still have certain situations, people, and unexpected events that cause me to worry too much. The secret is recognizing when I’m worrying so that I can consciously begin to dissipate it. Sometimes I’m pretty far into my self-made future disaster scenes before I catch myself. I am still a little awed, though, at how calm and confidence can return when I consciously direct it to.
Thomas Borkovec, Ph.D., a psychologist and respected expert in the field of worry and anxiety, has two other methods that may help you with worry. He recommends setting up a specific time of the day, 30 minutes to an hour, and marking it as your worry-free zone. During this time period, you brush aside all worries as they surface and consciously focus on anything other than the problem. This is especially good when you are exhausted from worry – the time-out gives your mind a rest.
Dr. Borkovec also suggests trying the opposite: setting a worry-zone time. You simply set a time of day for all the worrying. When a worried thought comes up during the day, you set it aside for later. You allow full-blown worry only during the designated worry-zone time.
Perhaps one of these methods will be of use to you if you find yourself worrying too much. Letting go of worry is a pretty joyful and freeing experience.
In peace,
Patti
